By Popular Demand

In front of the Anchorage, Alaska LDS Temple.

Northern Lights

No, we have not yet been able to see the Northern Lights. However, that does not mean that technology has failed us utterly. Using the powerful magic contained in the iPhone 4, I was able to shoot a short video of what the Northern Lights would look like if we could see them :

Hey, it's better than a poke in the eye. 

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Today at about 3:15pm local time (6:15pm Central Daylight Time), we will be climbing on a jet to complete the journey to Dillingham. The journey is expected to take about an hour, and then we will reach our new home city. More to come later as the adventure continues to unfold.

Even More Pictures !

More Pictures

Pictures! I Have Pictures!

If pictures are truly worth a thousand words, then I present quite a few words here and now. However, if you wish to cut to the chase, then use this link with my blessing.

This is a footbridge (or possibly cross-country skiing bridge) in Kincaid Park in the fair city of Anchorage. It is of beautiful and quite sturdy construction. Massive are the timbers and skilled were the workers who built her.

Kincaid is stunning in it's beauty, but for those who have not witnessed the spectacle for themselves, allow me to implant in your minds a frame of reference. Imagine, if you will, Wild Cat Den State Park. In comparison to Kincaid it is as a Chihuahua placed next to a Great Dane. I forgot to log how many minutes we were driving at 25 MPH once we breached the gate to park until we finally reached the heart of it. It was a lot, let me tell you. 

Speaking of a lot, it would take a grizzly on steroids to develop the force necessary to overcome one of these bad boys : 

This is a regulation-issue bear-proof (so far) trash receptacle. I don't know this could actually withstand a full-on assault from a grizzly, but one thing is for sure : you have to have some moxy on the ball to open it, not to mention a distinct absence of claws to open it. It is simple and fiendishly cleaver all at once. 

I am sure there are those amongst you who think, not out loud, of course, perhaps there is a chance that I exaggerated the threat of bear attack by a smidgen or three thousand. Well, to the nay-sayers I offer up my proof in the form of a sign posted on the main building in the park : 

This is one, regulation-type bear warning poster. This is the clarion call that stuff just got real up in this joint. Please remember this is Anchorage, and a much larger community with more hustle and bustle than Dillingham has at present. 

This sign, we think, is far from regulation but cracked us up anyway. 

So Montana is 'big sky' country, eh? I don't think so. I think Montana just has a better P.R. firm than Alaska at this point in time. 

More from that gorgeous foot bridge

Please keep in mind this was but one small section of the park, but this appeared to be the main building.

I really wish we had far more time to explore this park, but alas...we do not. Tomorrow we leave for our final destination Dillingham. I don't know when I will get around to updating from there, as I don't know what internet connection I will be using yet. We shall see. That is the point of an adventure like this, is it not?

Words Mean Things

People would do well to remember that words do, in fact, mean things. Take the word 'return' for example. The dictionary would have foolish believe it means "go back to a place or person". Yes, you would be a fool to believe this simplistic definition, as did I, once upon a time. That time was before I tried to pick up a rental car in the Anchorage airport.

We received the keys to said rental car, and asked the far-too-young myrmidon behind the counter exactly how we were to find said rental vehicle. We were told to RETURN to the elevator, go up one floor, get out and turn to the left and we would see the signs.

We thought this was a lot to ask, as the rental car counters are apparently placed half-way to the Bering Sea, yet somehow, paradoxically, under the same roof. The instructions to RETURN to the elevator meant re-tracing our earlier 500 mile trek from the elevators to the rental car counter in the first place, but ok.

Trek ensues. Trudging takes place. We get on said elevator, go up one floor, get out, turn left and... run into the stairs and escalators which will return you to the start point of the 500 mile schlep to get to the rental car counters in the first place. We were not amused.

So we asked some of the airport employees we found while wandering through the desert of our ignorance. We received more (incorrect) opinions than one would get from one dozen economists locked in a proverbial room. How any management could let such basic information, let alone incorrect speculation, not exist in the minds of the employees is criminal, in my humble opinion.

But the aneurism-triggering moment when we approached the Visitor Information booth only to find out BOTH employees were completely, utterly, helplessly clueless about where hundreds of parked vehicles in a large, concrete, immovable structure might possibly be contained on the premises.

That was the 10-ton straw that broke the camel's back. The Hulk is coming out!

I picked up my cell phone and proceeded to call up the rental car counter to vent my enlarged and enraged spleen. Since God has far since decided to take pity on me, the employee who originally sent us on this rage-inducing wild goose chase did not pick up the phone. This dear, sweet soul wondered how we could possibly have become lost finding our way to THE elevator.

Insert sound of record needle scratching across a record here.

THE elevator?

Dear, sweet angel. What do you mean "THE" elevator?

It turns out she meant THE elevator, as in the ONLY elevator one could every possibly use to reach the rental car garage. As in the elevator concealed from every angle except head-on by a pair of escalators. As in THE elevator about 30 feet away from said rental counter.

As in elevator we had never seen before in our lives, let alone used.

So when we were told to RETURN to the elevator, it was assumed, even though I had informed the agent this was the first time in, like, EVAR we had been in Alaska, let alone that airport. So telling us to RETURN to someplace we had never been was...well, an act of pure evil. She apologized profusely for our inconsiderate treatment, and gave us precise directions back to the necessary elevator, and within moments we had secured our rental.

So let me close with a word to the wise : the same government that designed a camouflaged elevator as the ONLY way to access a rented vehicle is the same government that designed your health care.

Sleep well !

Resting in Anchorage

What a day.

When I woke this morning, little did I expect in just a couple of hours I would be the victim of of a robbery. What is more shocking was it happened right in the Quad City Airport. We were taking a number of additional pieces of luggage, and we ended up two over the limit.

Long story made short, before we were allowed to check the bags we were asked to pay $300.00 for both the bags. Were time not short, we would have made our way to the FedEx or UPS terminals and shipped them for far less. I suspect the unnamed airline knew exactly what they were doing when they shoved that velvet covered revolver in my ribs.

Even so, the jet ride to Chicago must have been made on afterburners. We were promised a 55 minute flight, and we were walking into the terminal 40 minutes later. That's where the second robbery of the day commenced. 2 breakfast bagels, an apple, a banana and two medium-sized bottles of water set us back $25!

The upside to this trip was the only layover was in Chicago, and it was only 1 hour, 45 minutes in total. For the second time on the day, the plane left almost exactly to the minute when it should, and once up in the air the pilot announced with the projected headwinds, weather patterns and what-not, the flight would last 6 hours and 1 minute. Really? How much goosing would it take to shave that 1 minute off and just make it 6 hours?

It turns out the pilot must have read my mind because we actually touched down 15 minutes early. This was after a very turbulent ride. The 'fasten seat belts' light was lit most of the trip, and at times felt very much like being on a roller coaster. Still, it seemed once we hit the Canadian Rockies the road, as it were, smoothed into glass.

Anchorage is a wonderful town, but not to drive in. I swear each and every driver here was licensed to drive by Louisa County, Iowa. If I could have charged $100 for every time I was cut off, I would be retiring tomorrow. They are very bizarre about speeds, too. On a 60 MPH-limit road, 65 MPH had me passing cars like they were standing still, but if I reduced to 60 MPH, I started being lapped like I was in the Indy 500.

The scenery is everything it was represented to be, and oh-so-much more. I simply cannot express the beauty that is all around. The majestic mountains which command the horizon are impressive. Having earlier in the day left behind the drought, it was amazing and almost a holy experience to see the myriad hues and tints of green.

I mentioned earlier we had taken a risk, a true gamble on a service called AirBnB.com. I am happy to report that risk payed off handsomely. We could not be happier with the results, and would not hesitate to give our host a shower of accolades and recommendations! It is well worth your time to use this service, provided you select your host with care and diligence. I surmise it would be just as easy to pick a lousy host as the superior one.

As I sit typing this, I am staring at the rear of what has to be a wonder of the ages. It is called Fred Meyer, and folks I am here to testify and bear somber, sober witness to you that Fred Meyer has Wal-Mart and every other brick-and-mortar retailer beat, hands down! We ventured out of our AirBnB.com condo, and explored Fred Meyer. I tell you, the largest Wal-Mart SuperCenter you have ever seen is but an swaddling infant compared to the colossus that is Fred Meyer.

If it is possible to see the curvature of the Earth from ground level, it is done at a Fred Meyer store. I believe under the right set of circumstances one could see and witness infinity itself! The sounds which ricochet and reverberate all around you become a wonder only when you realize they are echoes coming from the other end of the cavernous store. Truly, it is my firm belief the Grand Canyon has less of an echo than this Fred Meyer store.

Oh, but I have saved the best for last, friends. This wonder of man, this titan among giants of retailing, this behemoth has a secret buried deep within the bowels of the store. There is an extensive firearm retailing operation inside this 'grocery' store. I kid you not! See for yourself :

But there is one thing about Fred Meyer that really upsets me. It's the fresh produce that really winds my clock. I cannot believe, even after having seen it with my own eyes, how much more fresh the produce is here than was in Iowa. I am eating a few seedless grapes we purchased for a snack, and they are as sweet as any I have ever eaten. The price was comparable to what we paid in Iowa, too.

Well, that is the day that was. We cannot believe how lucky we are to have this opportunity, and we hope our good fortune holds fast.

Give AirBnB.com a Whirl

I like to think America is great because it is the land of innovators. Innovation, from time to time, brings to market some truly great things, like AirBnB.com. We were looking for a place to land in Anchorage, Alaska and we heard about AirBnB so we decided to roll the dice. We couldn't be more pleased with the result so far. I hope to be able to post more about the whole situation after we secure the permission of our hosts to do so, but we believe they are providing excellent customer service and value. Unless some massive catastrophe strikes, we fully intend to grant them glowing reviews. The course of action is simple, that is if you are looking for the best value to be had : give AirBnB a go. You might be stunned to learn what you can do outside of the mainstream of lodging.

Shoving Off

The adventure begins. We are due to depart Moline (MLI) tomorrow at 7 am Central time. We should be in Alaska by 2 pm local time there. It is my hope to detail the adventure as it unfolds on this blog, in words, pictures and perhaps even video. So long as we don't get eaten by a bear. That would put a damper on things.