So the Queen is reading this letter she received from the post office. I notice there is a bunch of glitter falling out of the envelope, and the letter itself, all over our apartment. I point out to the fair Queen this is a highly illegal thing to have happen.
She stops dead in her tracks. "What do you mean?"
Oh, come on gentle reader. Like you don't see this coming a mile away.
"Well," I replied, "After all, it is illegal to be glittering."
I might be back from sleeping on couch sometime next week.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Tote that Bale
All I can say is I am glad the queen is finally happy. She had been stalking her prey for a while, and the USPS finally delivered up the carcasses.
I speak, of course, about Fiesta Dinnerware.
The queen ordered said carcasses during the Great Hunt of 2012 detailed in an earlier posting. The USPS notified us we had a package and take a great big, wild guess who had to schlep said dead weight back to the Huntress' lair?
Me? I would have been happy with paper plates. Oh, no! If we are to establish a proper lair it will have proper dishes, lest the Huntress be thought a slovenly housekeeper. Can't have that sort of talk running around loose, now can we?
So I schlepped thelead weights dishes back from the post office. All 2,000 50 pounds worth. For four blocks. In a blinding snowstorm. Uphill, both ways!
Well, it felt like it. :-)
I speak, of course, about Fiesta Dinnerware.
The queen ordered said carcasses during the Great Hunt of 2012 detailed in an earlier posting. The USPS notified us we had a package and take a great big, wild guess who had to schlep said dead weight back to the Huntress' lair?
Me? I would have been happy with paper plates. Oh, no! If we are to establish a proper lair it will have proper dishes, lest the Huntress be thought a slovenly housekeeper. Can't have that sort of talk running around loose, now can we?
So I schlepped the
Well, it felt like it. :-)
Run for Your Life!
I had my first run in with a wild animal on the way into work today. You know what? They really are more scared of you than you are of them. No, sadly, it wasn't a bear. It was a fox.
Well, I rounded the corner heading to work and there he was. He was intent on scrounging up a meal, and didn't seem the least bit interested in me... until I was inside his comfort "bubble". Now keep in mind this was still in the dark. He was vaguely aware of my presence until it got through to the hinterlands of his tiny little brain there was a dark, hulking mountain about to get very close to his person. So Mr. Wily Fox did what came natural.
He froze.
All animals become invisible when they freeze in place, of course. Except, I think, those who happen to be in the visual crosshairs of a human, who happens to be wearing an LED light which is now lighting Mr. Fox up like the 4th of July. Still, can't have him lurking about scaring women and children so I stomped my foot snarled at him in a most convincing fashion.
It was at this point Mr. Fox decided his invisibility cloak must have failed, because he went from a dead stop to about 60 MPH in .0001 seconds in any direction that wasn't towards me. It was like he decided to circumnavigate around me by deciding at any given moment what the odds were of dying if he continued into the darkness. So he would oscillate between heading starkly away from me, and kinda-sorta back in my general direction. The net result being, of course, a rambling circle around me and back to the ebon darkness from which he came.
He was a beautiful reddish-brown, but smaller than I would have believed a fox would be. Perhaps he was a young pup. I would say now, however, he is a born-again believer in glowing, snarling monsters that go stomp in the night.
Well, I rounded the corner heading to work and there he was. He was intent on scrounging up a meal, and didn't seem the least bit interested in me... until I was inside his comfort "bubble". Now keep in mind this was still in the dark. He was vaguely aware of my presence until it got through to the hinterlands of his tiny little brain there was a dark, hulking mountain about to get very close to his person. So Mr. Wily Fox did what came natural.
He froze.
All animals become invisible when they freeze in place, of course. Except, I think, those who happen to be in the visual crosshairs of a human, who happens to be wearing an LED light which is now lighting Mr. Fox up like the 4th of July. Still, can't have him lurking about scaring women and children so I stomped my foot snarled at him in a most convincing fashion.
It was at this point Mr. Fox decided his invisibility cloak must have failed, because he went from a dead stop to about 60 MPH in .0001 seconds in any direction that wasn't towards me. It was like he decided to circumnavigate around me by deciding at any given moment what the odds were of dying if he continued into the darkness. So he would oscillate between heading starkly away from me, and kinda-sorta back in my general direction. The net result being, of course, a rambling circle around me and back to the ebon darkness from which he came.
He was a beautiful reddish-brown, but smaller than I would have believed a fox would be. Perhaps he was a young pup. I would say now, however, he is a born-again believer in glowing, snarling monsters that go stomp in the night.
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