Amazon This!

Well, as you may know by now there are only two ways to get in or out of Dillingham. One is by boat, and the other by airplane. Necessarily, this means anything you want to ship here - like items from Amazon - have to arrive in like fashion. I have noticed recently that Amazon is becoming more and more selective about what they will, or perhaps more importantly WILL NOT ship to Alaska. 

At first I understood this, because the US Postal Service is the ONLY way any package gets to Dillingham. It stands to reason if the USPS gets uptight about shipping things like explosives, firearms, or alcohol then retailers who sell those goods will not be able to get them to Dillingham. Again, this is perfectly understandable. I have no beef with the retailers, because the USPS sets the rules.

But this :

I mean, what the hell Amazon? Why in the world can't you ship me a friggin' dust mop? Look, there is no post office restriction against mailing dust mops. I checked. It's not made of lead, so it won't cost $100 to ship it. If it is a matter of shipping costs, I would pay a little more for a Prime account and get it here.

It's not just this item. More and more I am finding the goofiest stuff is now verboten for us at Amazon. In fact, I am pretty sure I could get a lead brick shipped here by Amazon. Sure enough. I just checked. I can get a lead brick shipped here - FOR FREE!

So in light of this new information, Amazon, I am again inspired to ask you : what the hell?!

Pun-t When You're Behind

So the Queen is reading this letter she received from the post office. I notice there is a bunch of glitter falling out of the envelope, and the letter itself, all over our apartment. I point out to the fair Queen this is a highly illegal thing to have happen.

She stops dead in her tracks. "What do you mean?"

Oh, come on gentle reader. Like you don't see this coming a mile away.

"Well," I replied, "After all, it is illegal to be glittering."

I might be back from sleeping on couch sometime next week.