Amazon This!

Well, as you may know by now there are only two ways to get in or out of Dillingham. One is by boat, and the other by airplane. Necessarily, this means anything you want to ship here - like items from Amazon - have to arrive in like fashion. I have noticed recently that Amazon is becoming more and more selective about what they will, or perhaps more importantly WILL NOT ship to Alaska. 

At first I understood this, because the US Postal Service is the ONLY way any package gets to Dillingham. It stands to reason if the USPS gets uptight about shipping things like explosives, firearms, or alcohol then retailers who sell those goods will not be able to get them to Dillingham. Again, this is perfectly understandable. I have no beef with the retailers, because the USPS sets the rules.

But this :

I mean, what the hell Amazon? Why in the world can't you ship me a friggin' dust mop? Look, there is no post office restriction against mailing dust mops. I checked. It's not made of lead, so it won't cost $100 to ship it. If it is a matter of shipping costs, I would pay a little more for a Prime account and get it here.

It's not just this item. More and more I am finding the goofiest stuff is now verboten for us at Amazon. In fact, I am pretty sure I could get a lead brick shipped here by Amazon. Sure enough. I just checked. I can get a lead brick shipped here - FOR FREE!

So in light of this new information, Amazon, I am again inspired to ask you : what the hell?!

The Mighty Huntress

I have now seen the most awe-inspiring, vicious, merciless hunter on Earth in action. This hunter will stop at nothing - NOTHING! - while tracking prey. Patience, stamina, and above all else an uncanny ability to pounce at the precise moment to exact a kill... it's just a wonder to behold. So let me warn you, friends, to give this hunter a wide berth. This hunter's wrath will not be brooked should you block the path to the prey...

Yes, watching my wife shop on the internet is nothing short of watching a lion stalk dinner, but with more bloodshed and gore.

Those poor merchants will probably never know what hit them, for she has no mercy. Sale price?! HA! She laughs at what you call a sale price! She will ruthlessly shop until the very internet itself begs for mercy. You want to charge shipping for that? Woe unto you, foolish mortal, for you have just earned the wrath of a mighty huntress!

She leaves enough twisted wreckage and destroyed web-servers in her wake to make Jason Voorhees AND Freddy Kruger barf from the carnage. I'm not sure, but I think the bank has sent her a titanium debit card because the plastic ones kept melting down from overuse.