The Mighty Huntress

I have now seen the most awe-inspiring, vicious, merciless hunter on Earth in action. This hunter will stop at nothing - NOTHING! - while tracking prey. Patience, stamina, and above all else an uncanny ability to pounce at the precise moment to exact a kill... it's just a wonder to behold. So let me warn you, friends, to give this hunter a wide berth. This hunter's wrath will not be brooked should you block the path to the prey...

Yes, watching my wife shop on the internet is nothing short of watching a lion stalk dinner, but with more bloodshed and gore.

Those poor merchants will probably never know what hit them, for she has no mercy. Sale price?! HA! She laughs at what you call a sale price! She will ruthlessly shop until the very internet itself begs for mercy. You want to charge shipping for that? Woe unto you, foolish mortal, for you have just earned the wrath of a mighty huntress!

She leaves enough twisted wreckage and destroyed web-servers in her wake to make Jason Voorhees AND Freddy Kruger barf from the carnage. I'm not sure, but I think the bank has sent her a titanium debit card because the plastic ones kept melting down from overuse.